So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
