so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
