did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
