I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
