No stitches, just platelets and will power
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
