He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
