I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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