Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
