I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
So vagazzling was a success
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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