well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
