That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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