This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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