I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
