I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
