I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
