your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
