Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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