I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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