I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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