babies were throwing up all over the place
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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