So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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