I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
This house was built for laser tag.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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