Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
