Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
