Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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