How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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