i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
