I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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