we're blogging at a bar
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
