the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
