so that wasnt chicken after all
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
