he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
