How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
