where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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