FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
