i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
