Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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