HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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