Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
