He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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