Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
