You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
