It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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