The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
