What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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