The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
