before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
