When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
