Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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