he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
